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Limericks

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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on Sat 11 Mar 2017, 08:17

Two puppies, by name Flip and Flop,
were passing outside a toy shop;
saw a "ball" big and bright,
but then scampered in fright,
when the balloon burst with a loud "Pop!".
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:53

A small cloud fell right out of the sky,
cos he'd not yet learned quite how to fly,
nor yet even to float,
so he fell on a goat,
who's all fluffy now and we know why.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on Sun 19 Mar 2017, 11:41

There was a big man known as Joe,
who lumbered about, very slow.
"There's no hurry", he said,
"we'll be soon enough dead,
I"m giving my soul time to grow".



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on Thu 01 Jun 2017, 11:50

A very young computer geek
sat watching his screen all the week.
He ate never a crumb

till his mind became numb
and his body all flabby and weak.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Squeak !

Post by Stardust on Fri 09 Jun 2017, 20:40

Paulina and Paulo from Rome
split up but rowed over their home.
They each wanted the house,
then discovered a mouse,
Paulo's comfy there now all alone.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on Fri 08 Sep 2017, 19:35

Young Sal was too fond of fruit crumble.
She never spoke, only could mumble,
cos her mouth overflowed
with crumble overload
and her words came out all of a jumble.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on Fri 20 Oct 2017, 15:45

On the garden wall, an ugly cat
glared at neighbours - he hissed and he spat;
till a cute Siamese
answered back with a sneeze,
cat fell down and a car squashed him flat.

annoyed



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on Thu 26 Oct 2017, 09:42

The old bull was out in all weathers
Cow Daisy and he not together
He gave up all hope
For he just couldn't cope
And strangled himself with his tether.



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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bimbow
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Re: Limericks

Post by bimbow on Thu 26 Oct 2017, 17:30

Farewell to an artist whose name
Is in rock n roll’s hall of fame
Who once found a thrill
On Blueberry Hill
Fats Domino: Ain’t That a Shame.

..
 twitmericks
..



Definitely not just for skeptics, and we've moved. Yes, again. Sadly necessary. .....https://skepticsforum.co.uk
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on Thu 26 Oct 2017, 21:21

Great limerick and so topical. toast



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Whiskers
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Re: Limericks

Post by Whiskers on Sat 28 Oct 2017, 10:23

More topical limericks in that link.
like this one pirat

The Catalans’ grand referendum
On powers and how to extendum
Appeared to annoy
A chap named Rajoy
Who’s moving instead to suspendum.
__________
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41710873

or 
According to minister Grayling
If EU discussions are failing
We fall off the edge
And plant up more veg
Apparently Brexit’s plain sailing!
___________
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/oct/15/higher-food-prices-could-be-avoided-if-no-brexit-claims-chris-grayling
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on Sat 28 Oct 2017, 11:42

There was a young lady called Jane
People said she was a pain
No-one spoke to her
Her hygiene was poor
In fact she smelt like a drain.



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Whiskers
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Re: Limericks

Post by Whiskers on Mon 30 Oct 2017, 21:46

I need a new door for my hall,
The replacement I bought was too tall.
So I hacked it and chopped it,
And carefully lopped it,
And now the dumb thing is too small.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on Tue 31 Oct 2017, 17:17

Excellent one, Whiskers. toast



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Whiskers
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Re: Limericks

Post by Whiskers on Thu 02 Nov 2017, 18:42

Feather wrote:Excellent one, Whiskers. toast


Nicked it from here Feather pirat   http://pun.me/pages/funny-limericks.php

Another one from same place -

An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath

lol!
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Whiskers
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Re: Limericks

Post by Whiskers on Thu 02 Nov 2017, 18:48

This is fun - Limerick Generator :  https://www.poem-generator.org.uk/limerick/
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bimbow
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Re: Limericks

Post by bimbow on Sun 12 Nov 2017, 17:30

The Wheel, the new Shard, and Big Ben,
Might be landmarks in London's top ten,
But as an aesthete,
I say they can't compete,
With St Paul's by Sir Christopher Wren.



Definitely not just for skeptics, and we've moved. Yes, again. Sadly necessary. .....https://skepticsforum.co.uk
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bimbow
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Re: Limericks

Post by bimbow on Sun 12 Nov 2017, 17:32

There once was a person from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!"



Definitely not just for skeptics, and we've moved. Yes, again. Sadly necessary. .....https://skepticsforum.co.uk
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Whiskers
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Re: Limericks

Post by Whiskers on Tue 14 Nov 2017, 09:49

A funny young fellow named Perkins
Was terribly fond of small gherkins
One day after tea
He ate ninety three
And pickled his internal workings
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bimbow
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Re: Limericks

Post by bimbow on Wed 22 Nov 2017, 20:18

There was a young curate at Kew
Who kept a large cat in a pew,
Where he taught her each week
A new letter of Greek,
But she never got farther than Mu.



And a rather odd one...


The limerick, peculiar to English,
Is a verse that's hard to extinguish.
Once Congress in session
Decreed its suppression
But people got around it by writing the last line without any rhyme or meter.



Definitely not just for skeptics, and we've moved. Yes, again. Sadly necessary. .....https://skepticsforum.co.uk
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Whiskers
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Re: Limericks

Post by Whiskers on Thu 23 Nov 2017, 17:57

There once was a farmer from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
But has all the tomatoes he needs.
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bimbow
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Re: Limericks

Post by bimbow on Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:18

The Normans had no way of showing

How well England’s conquest was going -

No press or TV,

No tweets, no FB –


So nuns had to get to work sewing.

toast



Definitely not just for skeptics, and we've moved. Yes, again. Sadly necessary. .....https://skepticsforum.co.uk
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Whiskers
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Re: Limericks

Post by Whiskers on Sat 20 Jan 2018, 15:33

A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!

pirat
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bimbow
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Re: Limericks

Post by bimbow on Sun 28 Jan 2018, 16:06

Where once people fought for their bread,
They riot for hazelnut spread;
Marie Antoinette
Might well declare: “Let..
Them eat peanut butter instead”.


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/ ... ed-nutella



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bimbow
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Re: Limericks

Post by bimbow on Thu 08 Feb 2018, 21:22

Hope this is not a duplicate.

A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail with the most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said "Small Medium at Large".



Definitely not just for skeptics, and we've moved. Yes, again. Sadly necessary. .....https://skepticsforum.co.uk

    Current date/time is Sun 16 Dec 2018, 18:42