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Limericks

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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 16th January 2017, 11:25

...continued...

The Doctor said: "Take charcoal pills,
and exercise, walking the hills,
you'll soon be in the pink
and no longer will stink.
Now pay me these two hefty bills'.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 17th January 2017, 22:55

The court jester entertained the crowd
They loved him and he was very proud
But the king was mad
Thought his act was bad
So he ended up in a filthy shroud.



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Honey and Marmite tie the knot

Post by Stardust on 18th January 2017, 09:29

We all know that opposites attract,
and the unknown appeals, that's a fact,
so it shouldn't shock
and we mustn't mock
when Miss Honey weds Sir Yeast Extract.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 18th January 2017, 16:33

I'm running out, it seems,
Of ideas, words and themes
But I'll do my best
To take care of the rest
Even only if in my dreams.



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 18th January 2017, 17:34

...
The Muse has decided to rest
and not to help out in our quest
for tales told in rhyme,
she has not the time.
We can't do it alone, had you guessed?



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 18th January 2017, 21:40

It's known that the Muse can be fickle
And send all your nerve ends a-prickle
You can't force her hand
Or make a demand
It's worse than a relentless tickle!



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 19th January 2017, 10:08

...

The more you beg her and implore,
the more all your pleas she'll ignore.
Put it out of your head,
do something else instead,
till the Muse returns just as before.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 19th January 2017, 11:46

Good idea--and thank you for that
With myself I'll have a good chat
I'll forget about verse
Lengthy or terse
O, I know! I'll go feed the cat!!



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 19th January 2017, 19:32

...

The stray cat was watching our Feather,
well hidden amongst all the heather,
she knew food would be found
and left out on the ground
just for her and whatever the weather.


PS: the cat (not Feather) was hiding in the heather. yahboocat



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 20th January 2017, 18:57

Old Joe was a miserly moaner,
shunned company, he was a loner.
Noone would be so brash
as to ask him for cash,
or aught else, he was never a donor.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 2nd February 2017, 10:58

An old woman, stunted and bent,
was poor and could not pay her rent.
Landlord said: "Have no fear,
I won't throw you out, dear.
You can live in my son's old scout tent.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 6th February 2017, 15:05

There was a young man lived in Cork
who said he'd no longer eat pork.
"It's unclean", he would say,
and so now every day
the silly fool eats ham from York.





Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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St Valentine's Day

Post by Stardust on 14th February 2017, 11:07

"Where are you, my own Valentine?"
sang Daisy out in the sunshine.
"I am here and in love"
said a voice from above
and the tall sergeant said: "Please be mine'.

happyheart



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 14th February 2017, 15:55

Daisy refused his request
For she thought that it would be best
To shun his advances
And so take no chances
For she hated his yellow string vest.



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 14th February 2017, 17:05

...

The sergeant then threw off his vest
and showed off his muscles and chest.
Daisy changed her mind fast,
she cried out "Yes!" at last
and they honeymooned in Budapest.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 14th February 2017, 22:34

The honeymoon-it was just great
Midsummer day was the date
They made love in the sun
Had all kinds of fun
Yet for bedtime they just could not wait!!



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 15th February 2017, 07:26

...

Then a Hungarian girl came between,
such a beauty there never was seen.
Stole the sergeant away
in much less than a day;
Daisy came back home angry and mean.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 16th February 2017, 10:36

She set about getting divorced
She knew that her hand had been forced
And plans she was cooking
She already was looking
for a second husband of course!!



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 16th February 2017, 11:07

...

But none of the lads found her favour,
for every one was "last month's flavour".
Daisy gave up on fun,
became instead a nun.
Now she's married to her church's saviour.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 24th February 2017, 16:17

Little Lisa was stamping her feet
cos her Mum wouldn't give her a sweet,
so she climbed up on a chair
reached out for a jelly bear,
but got bruised when she fell off the seat.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 1st March 2017, 09:12

A girl sat alone and forlorn,
in two her young heart had been torn.
But then a new neighbour
gave life back its savour,
and now their first son has been born.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 5th March 2017, 22:12

The baby was cute and so chubby
With a face matching that of her hubby
But into muck it would crawl
Then blubber and bawl
When it found itself smelly and grubby.



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 6th March 2017, 08:19

In Devon there lived an old toad
who found a frog hurt in the road.
He quickly helped up his friend
but a van came round the bend
and squashed them both under its load.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 10th March 2017, 11:52

In London John went out to dine,
drank much of the very best wine,
but way over the top,
he knew not when to stop
and fell "Splash!" into the Serpentine.



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Feather
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Re: Limericks

Post by Feather on 10th March 2017, 16:56

The stallion was not very tame
He did not respond to his name
No-one could ride him
Saddle or guide him
If they tried, they ended uo lame.



I'D RATHER PURR THAN HISS!  
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Stardust
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Re: Limericks

Post by Stardust on 11th March 2017, 08:17

Two puppies, by name Flip and Flop,
were passing outside a toy shop;
saw a "ball" big and bright,
but then scampered in fright,
when the balloon burst with a loud "Pop!".



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.

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