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Punography

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Kitkat
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Location : Around the bend

Punography

Post by Kitkat on 6th November 2014, 13:18

cheesy

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid  He says he can stop anytime.

How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra ...

PMS jokes aren't funny.  Period.

Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

Energizer Bunny arrested:  Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water?  Boil the hell out of it.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

Broken pencils are pointless.
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Whiskers
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Re: Punography

Post by Whiskers on 8th November 2014, 09:55

Laughing  You been at the Christmas crackers already KitKat?
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Stardust
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Re: Punography

Post by Stardust on 19th November 2014, 13:47

Thanks, Kitkat, I enjoyed those. More, please. cheesy



Be grateful for even the smallest thing, blessings come in many disguises.
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Kitkat
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Re: Punography

Post by Kitkat on 20th November 2014, 12:55

Some more tearable puns:   wary


I was going to look for my missing watch but I could never find the time.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in London's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Westminster obviously government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

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