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The Video of the Week now showing on Light After Life's Portal Page is: 'PSYCHIC' (Part 1 and 2)

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» Wonderful images - fabulous music (Part 2)
by Kitkat Yesterday at 00:53

» Yahoo Mail down - again!
by Kitkat 18th February 2018, 14:28

» Daughter fundraising to save her terminally ill mother
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» Kitkat's KK Blog
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» Keep a Word - Delete a Word
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» Poetry from the heart.
by Jamboree 12th February 2018, 07:46

» A Day in The Life of a Dictator - Documentary
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» Stardust on the Moon
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» Bureaucats: Whiskers in the Workplace
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» Is there a Cathy in the place?
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» Delicious and nutritious
by Stardust 1st February 2018, 14:38

» Chinese New Year
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» Feather by the sea.
by Stardust 1st February 2018, 10:37

» Message in a bottle from 1980s resurfaces in 2018
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» What's your emergency?
by Whiskers 27th January 2018, 13:09

» YouTube free-loading vlogger gets a much needed lesson in reality
by Whiskers 22nd January 2018, 20:17

» Three-month-old baby says "hello"
by Kitkat 13th January 2018, 15:00

» The cartoon thread.
by bimbow 12th January 2018, 22:06

» 60 Christmas traditions around the world
by Kitkat 30th December 2017, 21:58

» Simon's Cat
by Kitkat 26th December 2017, 16:27

» A new(ish) song for Christmas.
by Whiskers 24th December 2017, 13:49

» Merry Christmas
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» The Christmas Thread
by Kitkat 20th December 2017, 21:22

» A reader's response to your article on food waste
by Whiskers 18th December 2017, 14:35

» Downward Dog
by Kitkat 4th December 2017, 21:35

» A very young Bee Gees treat
by Whiskers 29th November 2017, 16:35

» Prime cheek!
by Kitkat 28th November 2017, 09:32

» The life and achievements of Dr Elsie Inglis
by Kitkat 26th November 2017, 09:14

» Hidden disabilities: Pain beneath the surface
by Kitkat 21st November 2017, 21:20

» Scary photos
by Kitkat 19th November 2017, 12:50

» The 7-year-old neuroscientist wowing the internet
by Kitkat 16th November 2017, 10:03

» The cat killer stalking suburbia
by Whiskers 6th November 2017, 15:53

» It's that time again .....
by Kitkat 29th October 2017, 00:21

» Happy Halloween!
by Stardust 25th October 2017, 08:37

» Love makes the world go round
by Stardust 25th October 2017, 08:00

» Need help with homework (Hall Effect)
by Kitkat 24th October 2017, 12:18

» Well hello there!
by Whiskers 23rd October 2017, 23:53

» Madeleine McCann investigation continues ...
by Whiskers 23rd October 2017, 23:43

» Famous Youtubers... Do you watch them? Do you dislike them?
by Jamboree 23rd October 2017, 00:44

» Control your television with any object
by loner55 16th October 2017, 10:32

» Fahrenheit 451
by loner55 16th October 2017, 10:26

» HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Feather!
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» A walk through Dominica, hours after Hurricane Maria
by Kitkat 15th October 2017, 12:48

» SKEPS Forum
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» Quotes about Lifestye
by Whiskers 7th October 2017, 15:25

» MPs call for ESA death statistics to be published (Calum's List)
by Kitkat 30th September 2017, 18:23

» Songs from the heart
by Stardust 20th September 2017, 20:55

» Bodies of 'hundreds' of children buried in mass grave
by mac 19th September 2017, 12:25

» Psychics didn't foresee THAT coming!
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» Number 7777
by Kitkat 14th September 2017, 14:10

» 'Messy' mum barred from pub
by Stardust 11th September 2017, 16:17

» [solved] Multiquote ?
by Whiskers 11th September 2017, 11:13

» Cosmic beauty
by Stardust 8th September 2017, 21:29

» Why men are happier people???
by Stardust 8th September 2017, 20:10

» A Granma's Anagrams
by Stardust 8th September 2017, 19:49

» Silly Endings.
by Stardust 8th September 2017, 19:45

» Pink rainbow
by Stardust 8th September 2017, 15:46

» Barking mad!
by Stardust 8th September 2017, 15:44

» Invasion of the sex-craved spiders! EEK!
by Stardust 8th September 2017, 15:38

» Surviving in Libya
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» Kitchen bat chase video goes viral
by Kitkat 6th September 2017, 17:21

» 10 things we didn't know last week ...
by Whiskers 4th September 2017, 14:31

» End of Summer Drinks
by EndoWarriror 1st September 2017, 13:53

» Bruce Forsyth dies aged 89
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» New forum design
by Jamboree 23rd August 2017, 13:03

» Photobucket
by Jamboree 10th August 2017, 02:36

» Hi from Brin
by Whiskers 6th August 2017, 12:14

» Delusions
by Kitkat 30th July 2017, 12:19

» BABY PLEASE DON'T GO ...
by Jamboree 25th July 2017, 16:03

» Wonderful images - fabulous music (Part 1)
by bimbow 21st July 2017, 22:21

» Photobucket no longer free ...
by Kitkat 8th July 2017, 11:05

» Problems logging in from your mobile, iPad or tablet?
by Kitkat 5th July 2017, 13:05

» Protest March through London
by Kitkat 1st July 2017, 17:41

» Our NHS
by Whiskers 29th June 2017, 16:49

» [solved] Forum showing me as online -- but I am not!
by Kitkat 25th June 2017, 10:41

» Day of Rage in London
by Kitkat 21st June 2017, 16:56

» NHS European Health Insurance Card
by Kitkat 20th June 2017, 21:26

» Postcards from the Shoutbox
by Whiskers 20th June 2017, 13:08

» Shout Box (SL and LAL)
by Kitkat 19th June 2017, 22:29

» A day out at the polling station
by Stardust 9th June 2017, 14:48

» Functions of the Blue Toolbar at top of the Forum
by Kitkat 5th June 2017, 10:47

» Light After Life forum's new address
by Kitkat 1st June 2017, 18:42

» Tick tock: The importance of knowing the right time
by Whiskers 1st June 2017, 11:23

» Derek Acorah to appear in Celebrity Big Brother 2017 ?
by Kitkat 24th May 2017, 22:38

» Publications
by Kitkat 22nd May 2017, 00:46

» The world's longest cat?
by Whiskers 19th May 2017, 09:22

» Nigeria
by Kitkat 19th May 2017, 08:54

» Redwater
by Kitkat 18th May 2017, 17:28

» Maggie's Cancer Care Centres
by Kitkat 17th May 2017, 18:07

» I'm being chased by an otter!
by Kitkat 16th May 2017, 13:07

» Eurovision Song Contest 2017
by Kitkat 16th May 2017, 11:49

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Silly Endings.

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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 16th January 2017, 20:43

Feather, that really made me laugh. lololol  I was thinking along the lines of a noise passing outside the house like an old wheelbarrow, or the squeaking of mice. I wasn't expecting the ending you found at all.
Still giggling. giggle

I prefer fizzy to still water because---
...it makes a lovely sound when you open the bottle.

You see a coin on the ground at the same time as someone else so, to make sure you get it first, you...
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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 16th January 2017, 22:07

------bend to tie your shoelace and accidentally step on the coin at the same time.

The water won't stop gushing from the tap but you------


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 17th January 2017, 13:38

Hmm, experience talking there methinks.

The water won't stop gushing from the tap but you---
...thank your lucky stars it's in your in-laws' house.

A passerby is grinning at you through your kitchen window...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 17th January 2017, 22:43

----so I immediately think he must have facial paralysis.

At the beach today-----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 18th January 2017, 09:25

At the beach today---
...there were footprints in the snow.

When you followed the footprints...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 18th January 2017, 12:47

------they vanished at the place where a Rolls Royce had been parked--lucky dog!

When the primroses bloom-----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 18th January 2017, 17:48

When the primroses bloom---
other plants say it's too soon.

There are two of you and only one chocolate left in the box...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 18th January 2017, 21:43

----but it's ok as I don't like nuts.

When you've been round the block a few times------


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 19th January 2017, 10:00

When you've been round the block a few times---
...you have to admit that you really can't remember where you live.

The complicated instructions on your DIY kit are driving you to abstraction...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 19th January 2017, 10:25

----and you are running the risk of ending up with a three-legged sofa.

When it's Spring again-----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 19th January 2017, 10:38

When it's Spring again---
...the clocks will soon spring forward.

A stranger offers to share his umbrella with you in the rain...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Whiskers on 22nd January 2017, 15:09

... You decline his offer when you notice that his flies are open.

Home is where ...........
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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 22nd January 2017, 16:17

Home is where ...
... you just left your keys on the inside of the door before slamming it from outside.


It's hot Summer and you're wilting, but there's only enough money for either the bus home or an ice cream and then walk it, so you...


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Kitkat
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Kitkat on 24th January 2017, 16:43

It's hot Summer and you're wilting, but there's only enough money for either the bus home or an ice cream and then walk it, so you...

... know it makes sense! - You've got to walk off all those lovely slurpy calories ..



Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up ....


.
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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 24th January 2017, 19:39

Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up ...
... the table leg and nibbled at your pizza.

You come face to face with your favourite film star and...


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Whiskers
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Whiskers on 2nd February 2017, 12:06

... hairpull  his car's a write-off!


When the sun crosses the yardarm .........
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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 2nd February 2017, 16:54

When the sun crosses the yardarm ...
...the skipper goes for a swim.

If you walk under a ladder, expect to...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Whiskers on 4th February 2017, 16:05

.... avoid slipping on the banana skin if you had walked around it.


Eat, sleep and be merry, for tomorrow you ..........
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 4th February 2017, 21:33

Eat, sleep and be merry, for tomorrow you ...
... have the inlaws coming to stay for a fortnight.

Walk the walk, talk the talk, ...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 5th February 2017, 21:14

----dance the dance.

When the jelly sets----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 6th February 2017, 10:03

When the jelly sets---
...you get to see it wobble.

At the end of the rainbow...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 6th February 2017, 12:25

-----you find Dorothy's red shoes.

When summits call you,----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 6th February 2017, 14:21

When summits call you,---
...be prepared to fall to the depths.

The first crocus appears in your garden...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 7th February 2017, 10:13

-----when you least expect it.

When the wanderlust strikes----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 7th February 2017, 19:05

When the wanderlust strikes---
...put your boots on and just walk away into the far horizon.

If a fly settles on your piece of chocolate cake...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 8th February 2017, 13:42

----take it as a sign you shouldn't be eating it.

Sing me a -----


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Kitkat
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Kitkat on 8th February 2017, 14:39

Sing me a -----
--- happy song and I'll dance to your tune, but sing me the blues and I'll howl at the moon.


One step forward and -----
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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 8th February 2017, 20:38

One step forward and ---
... the cat's howling cos you trod on his tail.

When you're hungry and the cupboard's bare ...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 8th February 2017, 21:27

---don't forget Tesco's there.

Put your red dress on and----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 8th February 2017, 21:39

Put your red dress on and---
...choose the spaghetti with tomato sauce at the local Italian (no fear of stains showing).

Your new shoes pinch your toes, so you ...


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Whiskers
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Whiskers on 11th February 2017, 18:47

--- just have to wear your big fluffy slippers on your trip to the supermarket.


Beauty is in the eye of ------
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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 11th February 2017, 21:22

-----the flatterer.

Richard 3rd was really----


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Kitkat
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Kitkat on 12th February 2017, 13:50

Richard 3rd was really----
--- a dick of the third degree.


Roll out the barrel, we'll have -------
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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 12th February 2017, 17:08

-----more than a few beers.

Other dimensions are----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 13th February 2017, 17:33

Other dimensions are---
...unseen but right beside us.

If you hear a scratching noise behind the wall...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 13th February 2017, 22:22

-------don't panic!!!

When the bank manager frowns at you-----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 14th February 2017, 10:28

When the bank manager frowns at you---
...frown right back and tell him he needs new glasses.

You just received a Valentine's card (anonymous of course) with £50 inside, you...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 14th February 2017, 15:50

----tear up the card and bank the money.

When yet another problem besets you-----


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Stardust
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 14th February 2017, 17:09

Heart's in the right place then, and your head too, I see.

When yet another problem besets you---
...get out your weekly packet of solutions.

You see a strange light in the sky (no, it's not the ISS) ...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 14th February 2017, 22:28

---so you're having yet another migraine!!

In the restaurant, you notice your fork is not clean so you-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 15th February 2017, 07:32

In the restaurant, you notice your fork is not clean so you---
...change it with the one from the next table.

It's tea break, but the newbie at work is using your mug...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 15th February 2017, 21:46

---but you say nothing because you remember when you were the newbie.

You have ruined the dinner and the guests are due in five minutes so------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 16th February 2017, 09:00

You have ruined the dinner and the guests are due in five minutes so---
...you put on your jeans and sweater, look surprised to see them, say they're a day early, then phone out for pizza.

Your boss has just told you the same joke for the umpteenth time...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 16th February 2017, 10:44

-----and you have to practise your sickly grin yet again.

If it's not leap year------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 16th February 2017, 10:59

If it's not leap year---
...don't buy Kangaroo pants.

There's no more butter for your toast...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Whiskers on 22nd February 2017, 11:28

--- so you feed the birds and have cornflakes instead.

If the cap fits -----
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 24th February 2017, 16:12

If the cap fits...
...the colour still does nothing for you.

If you meet David Tennant crossing the street...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 3rd March 2017, 10:59

-----say, "foo er ye dean noo, Davie?"

When you can't log in to Krazy Kats------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Kitkat on 3rd March 2017, 14:43

@Feather wrote:When you can't log in to Krazy Kats------

--- blame it on the dog.


It's never too late to --------
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on 4th March 2017, 10:24

-------hope for better.

When you receive a nuisance call-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on 4th March 2017, 18:11

When you receive a nuisance call---
...pretend you're the police station and tell them off for wasting police time.

If you drop an egg on the floor...


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    Current date/time is 20th February 2018, 19:47