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The Video of the Week now showing on Light After Life forum is: 'EXPLORING THE UNEXPLAINED - A JOURNEY INTO SPIRITUALISM'

Silly Endings.

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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Tue 03 Jan 2017, 14:28

-------get a job that is right for you.

When contemplating a tree one day------
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Tue 03 Jan 2017, 14:45

When contemplating a tree one day---
... a hidden pigeon let bombs away (on top of my head surprised giggle )

If the phone keeps ringing but there's only heavy breathing...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Tue 03 Jan 2017, 16:54

-----rush next door and catch him at it.

Before switching off the light-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Tue 03 Jan 2017, 17:08

Before switching off the light---
...make sure everybody has gone home.

If you can't find your eye glasses...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Tue 03 Jan 2017, 21:41

------they'll be on your head.

That film was so horrific that------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 06:50

That film was so horrific that---
...all the viewers passed out and missed the end.

1 and 2 is 3,  3 and 4 is ...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 09:29

-----8-1.

Hickory dickory dock, the the mouse ran up-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 09:43

Hickory dickory dock, the the mouse ran up---
... Joe's sock,
then up some more, oh dear! No more!

Tea time and the biscuit tin's empty...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 09:49

----but the cake tin isn't.

I switched on my torch but------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 10:09

I switched on my torch but---
...I saw the monster's eyes glaring at me. 
run 

Little Johnny was cheating at cards, so...


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Feather
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 12:30

-----the pack was confiscated for a month.

A single gull sat in the field and-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 13:24

A single gull sat in the field and---
...meditated on the meaning of life.

You want a sandwich but there's no bread...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 14:06

------pop next door and ask nicely.

When you can't find your second shoe----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 14:44

When you can't find your second shoe---
...use the minute one, or wear slippers.

If you're pretending not to be in when the doorbell rings...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 16:06

------leave the post on the floor till later.


When church bells ring----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 18:49

When church bells ring---
...the choirboys know they're late.

Little Miss Muffet sat on...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Wed 04 Jan 2017, 22:20

-----a tack and screamed her head off.

The pale moon was shining when----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Thu 05 Jan 2017, 10:50

The pale moon was shining when---
...Dracula crept out to seek for his next victim. What a Face 
run 

The tree the neighbours planted 10 years ago has ...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Thu 05 Jan 2017, 13:53

-------reached my toilet window and the birds can see everything!!

When Christmas is over-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Thu 05 Jan 2017, 18:43

When Christmas is over---
...we look forward to Easter.

If you get hiccups in the middle of an important speech...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Thu 05 Jan 2017, 21:30

------you should not have gulped your last meal.

Put the kettle on if------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Fri 06 Jan 2017, 06:09

Put the kettle on if---
...the pot has a hole in it.

If the hairdresser has made a mess of your crowning glory...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Fri 06 Jan 2017, 09:00

-----sue the pants off her.

When Harry came to visit----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Fri 06 Jan 2017, 10:26

When Harry came to visit---
...we all hid in the cellar and pretended to be out.
sidestep 

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Fri 06 Jan 2017, 14:08

------so the waistline grew.

She was a Daddy's girl until------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Fri 06 Jan 2017, 15:11

She was a Daddy's girl until---
...Mummy found out a got a new baby-sitter
(to look after the children and not Daddy this time).

Fair weather friends are...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Fri 06 Jan 2017, 16:31

-----no good in winter.

The punishment must-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Mon 09 Jan 2017, 21:09

The punishment must---
... be delivered without pain.

If you want to liven up your morning porridge...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Mon 09 Jan 2017, 21:39

------put a harmless dye in it.

When a cat rolls on its back, don't-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Tue 10 Jan 2017, 09:28

When a cat rolls on its back, don't---
...call the vet because you think it's dying.

When the cat jumps up and purrs on your lap...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Thu 12 Jan 2017, 22:47

-----be thankful it isn't a tiger.

When a blizzard strikes----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Fri 13 Jan 2017, 08:45

When a blizzard strikes---
...Big Ben answers back.

If the last chapter in your suspense novel has been torn out...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Kitkat on Fri 13 Jan 2017, 10:44

.... write your own ending.

When you walk through a storm, hold your -------
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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Fri 13 Jan 2017, 12:42

------umbrella in both hands.

If your clock strikes 13----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Fri 13 Jan 2017, 18:02

If your clock strikes 13---
...you should learn how to count!

Don't laugh when someone slides on a banana skin or...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Fri 13 Jan 2017, 18:19

-----when someone walks into a lamp post.

If you believe in astrology----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Fri 13 Jan 2017, 22:06

If you believe in astrology---
...your horoscope for today indicates that you won't win the Friday 13th lottery.

"Celebrate" not winning the Friday 13th lottery by...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Fri 13 Jan 2017, 22:24

----being happy you got through that date unscathed--if you did.

Living in the present is hard because----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Sat 14 Jan 2017, 08:18

Living in the present is hard because---
...it's only in the future that we look on it as "the good old days".

Your pot plant is withering so to save it you...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Sat 14 Jan 2017, 09:31

------realise that it's too late so you buy a new one.

When you scatter seeds for the birds in the snow-------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Sat 14 Jan 2017, 18:40

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Feather, you most definitely do not give up on that poor plant. You water it, feed it, and speak gently to cheer it up and coax it back to life.

When you scatter seeds for the birds in the snow---
...you'll be treated to a joyful song once they've eaten.

Did you know that more birds die of hunger and thirst in the Winter than of cold?

You forgot to put that ugly vase in a prominent place before auntie (who gave it you for Christmas) comes to visit, so you...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Sat 14 Jan 2017, 22:00

----pretend it's being professionally cleaned and polished by an expert.

I feed the birds every day and put water out if there's snow. That includes seagulls,pigeons, rooks and smaller birds.I also feed a stray cat who has taken up residence in my garage where I have put a soft bed for her. She can use this whenever she wants but she won't come in the house or let me pet her---yet.

When you're alone, use the time to------


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 08:44

@Feather wrote:I feed the birds every day and put water out if there's snow. That includes seagulls,pigeons, rooks and smaller birds.I also feed a stray cat who has taken up residence in my garage where I have put a soft bed for her. She can use this whenever she wants but she won't come in the house or let me pet her---yet.
happyheart

When you're alone, use the time to---
...pamper yourself, settle with a cuppa and read a magazine or book.

If your bread has turned a curious shade of green...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 14:10

-----don't eat it or you will do the same.

A monkey can tease a tiger as long as-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:07

A monkey can tease a tiger as long as---
...he remains agile and stays behind him.

A coconut fell on your head and...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 21:47

----my memory suddenly improved. I remembered why I should not linger under certain trees.

If your drawers are not in order-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:17

Maybe it would be a good idea if I sat under a palm tree waiting for a memory improving coconut to drop on my head.
giggle 

If your drawers are not in order---
...don't get your knickers in a twist.

To your annoyance somebody else just ate the last red Smartie...


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:06

Brilliant one, Stardust.

-----but it's ok as I prefer the orange ones.

When push comes to shove----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:09

Wink 

When push comes to shove---
...one of them is bowled over.

Squeak, squeak, squeak in the night, what can it be?


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Feather on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:43

----next door's old bed.

I prefer fizzy to still water because-----


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Re: Silly Endings.

Post by Stardust on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:43

Feather, that really made me laugh. lololol  I was thinking along the lines of a noise passing outside the house like an old wheelbarrow, or the squeaking of mice. I wasn't expecting the ending you found at all.
Still giggling. giggle

I prefer fizzy to still water because---
...it makes a lovely sound when you open the bottle.

You see a coin on the ground at the same time as someone else so, to make sure you get it first, you...


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