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The Video of the Week now showing on Light After Life forum is: 'EXPLORING THE UNEXPLAINED - A JOURNEY INTO SPIRITUALISM'

Feather by the sea.

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Stardust
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Mon 05 Sep 2016, 14:59

You've made my day with that post, Feather, and long may our happy and positive Feather remain.

Wicked girl, making us hungry...
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by lar-lar on Tue 06 Sep 2016, 11:28

Glad you're feeling better Feather - that's answered my PM.

 I've never heard of  Bere Bannock before so that was interesting.  toast
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Tue 06 Sep 2016, 13:47

I bet you can't pronounce it right either, Lar. yay .


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Wed 07 Sep 2016, 11:41

@Feather wrote:It's a lovely September day in Orkney. I'm having a real Orcadian lunch of Bere Bannock and Orkney Cheese, both made from Orkney produce--bere meal and cheese made from the milk of Orkney cows. Mmmmm!! Maybe kk has an idea what I'm talking about as she's from Ireland but the rest of you won't have a clue. Am I right? The bere is grown in the field, harvested, taken to the mill where it is ground down into a flour-like powder which the baker then shapes into a flat, round scone about 8" in diameter. When baked, it is delicious with the right kind of cheese and butter. Flour Bannocks are also made but I much prefer the Bere meal.
Well, that's that lot scoffed. Now I will take Chica to Scapa Beach where she will run free--off the lead---and we shall both benefit from the purity of island air.
Those of you who know me may realise that my mood seems to have lightened these past few days. I'm not sure why but I have my suspicions. 1. My brother has got over a worrying turn which landed him in hospital over last weekend. 2. I had a blood test which came back clear of any nasties. 3. My excruciating neck/shoulder pain has gone---including the equally distressing constipation which was the result of all the strong painkillers.4. I am so far resisting taking more antidepressants. I have an unopened box of them but am determined to leave it in that state. I do NOT want all those side effects back again. I counted 10--12 of them, all very unpleasant.I hope I don't have to eat my words as well as the bere bannock.xxx.

I confess to not having heard about the Orkney bere bannocks before your mention here.  Of course, since discovered there's loads about it on the internet.  Found a nice looking recipe here: http://www.orkney.com/whats-new/how-to-use-beremeal

I suppose the nearest Irish version of the bere bannock would be the Irish soda bread.  My mam used to rustle up two large ones every day - one brown and one white.  It was such a quick and easy thing to do, her 'routine' was to mix and prepare during the half-time break of her favourite programme 'Crossroads' and then chuck them in the Aga oven in time to get back for the second half.  Coronation Street followed on straight after that - so by the time her fave telly slot was finished the soda breads would be cooked and ready to come out of the oven.  I used to love when they were still fresh and warm out of the oven, where the butter would melt into the warm slice.  
Can you believe there is even a 'Society for the Preservation of Irish Soda Bread' !  surprised (an American invention, of course.)
link  http://www.sodabread.info/
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Wed 07 Sep 2016, 13:55

At my Dad's bakery, they made soda scones. They were pure white and fluffy and my favourites.No-one makes them in Orkney now but I bet my brother still has the recipe. Must ask him.


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Downturn

Post by Feather on Mon 26 Sep 2016, 09:30



If only----

If only I could control my thoughts , my emotions, my reactions, my hours, my days, my life.

I don't invite in all the negativity. Where does it come from and why does it plague me so?

How and why did it begin? I recall the joys of my youth when I don't really want to think about them. They increase my sadness tenfold. They hold up a mirror to my present self--an image which I shrink from viewing. Which is the real me? I surely can't be both of these creatures.

If I could draw back the veil and talk to the ones I miss and need so much, would that be enough to return me to my stronger, former self? I don't know and it's that not knowing which ensures that my darker,waiting self is never far away. Is it all really chemical? It seems much deeper than that. The answers and the solution are well beyond my comprehension. Only when I pass into oblivion will my restless, searching mind be still.







The above is a copy of a post I wrote in reply to a fellow sufferer from anxiety/depression on another forum.We understand each other and have become close.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Mon 26 Sep 2016, 18:30

@Feather wrote:The above is a copy of a post I wrote in reply to a fellow sufferer from anxiety/depression on another forum.We understand each other and have become close.

I'm glad that you have this new-found mutual understanding commucation that you can avail of when the need arises, Feather.  happyheart

I have come to realise that - not all, but the majority of the gap times when we don't hear from you around here for a while it is possibly because you have been feeling a bit low or stressed out for one reason or another.  At those times everyone needs an outlet of some sort to bring balance back into their lives.  Sometimes all it takes is having another person to share with, someone who understands what you are going through because they themselves are experiencing (or have in the past) the exact same thing.  It's a double blessing in that case because you can both equally help each other out at the times when it's most needed.
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Mon 26 Sep 2016, 22:11

Yes it really does take a fellow sufferer to realise how bad it can become. With the best will in the world,no-one else can even imagine what clinical anxiety/depression can do to the quality of life.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Tue 27 Sep 2016, 10:32

Yes, I thought your depression must have returned when I noticed your absence again, Feather, and it makes me so sad that we cannot help you. But you have found a friend and fellow-sufferer elsewhere so that's a comfort to know.

I guess many of us find that as the years creep up on us we begin to feel alien to the person looking back out of the mirror, the body starts to complain like a car ridden with rust, we start to wonder where our real self is hiding. Added to depression which may be due to your medication, I can imagine how overpoweringly lost you must feel at times.

I'm sending you my thoughts full of love and projecting bright light across all those long miles to bring you a little warming of the heart (I hope) and lighten your burden of despair.

Take good care, my friend. happyheart

Give Chica a hug. flower


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Tue 27 Sep 2016, 12:19

My dear Stardust, tears of sadness and gratitude are flowing--sadness that I cannot have you near me,gratitude for your caring, loving thoughts.The value of a true,caring friend cannot be measured, especially one who has, for so many years now,been at one with me over fundamental issues and attitudes to the vital questions of life.Thank you so much for simply being you. xxxxx.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Tue 27 Sep 2016, 18:04

Methinks it's definitely time for
A
  I love you
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Tue 27 Sep 2016, 18:52

Good idea, Kitkat. A shared master hug of all hugs.

Oh dear, I didn't want you to shed more tears, dear Feather. But perhaps they washed away the sadness a little (I hope).

I'm looking out of my window, lights are blinking in the distance, the sky is red with the setting sun against the blue before the darkness settles down and the stars appear. Countdown won't take long.

Time to curl up with a book.

Sweet dreams to all tonight.

happyheart


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Thu 29 Sep 2016, 06:08

May today be bright and bring you lots of joy, Feather.
I have sent you a PM.  Have a great day.  happyheart

Birthday  HAPPY BIRTHDAY   flower


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Thu 29 Sep 2016, 08:29

Thank you, dear Stardust. I have read your pm and replied.xxx.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Whiskers on Thu 29 Sep 2016, 13:19

Birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY FEATHER  xx

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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Thu 29 Sep 2016, 14:01

Thank you,Whiskers.Very kind. Another year gone but I am blessed to have good friends and two wonderful sons who spoil me rotten. xx.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Thu 29 Sep 2016, 15:13

Hope you're having a great birthday, Feather. ... happyheart

X X X
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Thu 29 Sep 2016, 17:07

Other famous people born on 29th September:

Caravaggio
Miguel de Cervantes * happyheart *
Sebastian Coe
James Cronin
Elizabeth Gaskell
Greer Garson
Trevor Howard
Zachary Levi
Jerry Lee Lewis  (Great balls of fire!)
Horatio Nelson
Tintoretto
Lech Walesa
etc...
You're in good company, Feather. flower


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Fri 30 Sep 2016, 10:49

Thank you for your good wishes, kk.
I'm low today again and you must be sick of reading my moans.
There is a specific reason for my mood today.As you know,I have few people I feel close to
and I'm quite prepared to admit that it's my depression that makes me react as I do but I have received no card from my brother and his wife.Apart from my boys, they are my closest family so it hurts a lot.It's not the card that matters.It's just that they didn't care enough to send one. In all the years, I have never once forgotten their birthdays no matter what I was personally going through. Now I feel that I can't go to see them tomorrow as I might say too much and cause a rift which will not heal. It's not my brother's fault as his memory is not good but Hazel knows perfectly well it was my birthday yesterday. I feel that I don't matter to her and this feeling has existed for some time caused by her attitude to me. It's a gut feeling which is very strong. I have had to ignore remarks made by her for my brother's sake. She's just not my kind of person in too many ways to tell you but this has really hurt me and I don't know where it will end.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Fri 30 Sep 2016, 13:59

It's the depression speaking, Feather. We all have these disappointments in life when we would wish that we were more important for certain people to whom we feel close by blood or other ties. You mustn't let this get you down. Ask yourself if you will remember in 10 years time, and the answer is probably not. You say your brother's memory is not so great so don't worry about his forgetting your birthday. If his wife remembered then didn't send a card, does it really matter? The hurt a person does to others is just blocking out the love they might themselves receive, so not doing them any good. Rise above it. You know your brother loves you and that's worth more than a piece of card.

Perhaps the card is just late, anyway?

Smile, lass, tomorrow is another day. happyheart


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Fri 30 Sep 2016, 16:26

You never know, Feather ... as it seems you are already expected to visit 'tomorrow' (which is today now of course), they might have had a nice little surprise planned for you - which might just go some way to make up for your disappointment yesterday. flower Do let us know if that turns out to be the case.
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Plea for Feather to lift up her head and her heart

Post by Stardust on Thu 06 Oct 2016, 14:47

Poor Feather must be sad again.
No more sunshine, but only rain
is all that she perceives these days
and we're all looking here for ways
to cheer her up and make her smile
and make her darkness lift awhile.
For if she's feeling so depressed
it makes things glum for all the rest.
For friends do share the ups and downs
and so we all try to be clowns
to make her laugh or at least grin
and let the light of friendship in,
so things do not seem quite so bad
when kindly words are to be had
and hugs and warmth sent from us here
let Feather know she is so dear.
So cheer up lass, and come back soon
and smile on us like the full Moon.
Cos if you're sad, then we are too
because we love a friend like you.
There aren't so many, you know that,
so come along and have a chat.
We miss you, Feather, worry too.
Please hurry back and don't be blue.
There's no good curling up alone
to cry to Chica and to moan,
when we are here our arms held wide
to welcome you, come back inside.

happyheart happyheart


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Thu 06 Oct 2016, 16:39

Thank you so much for your jaunty poem, Stardust. Lots of love. xxx.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Thu 06 Oct 2016, 16:41

Hey, Feather ! Good to have you back. I was worried. happyheart

Updated my FlashPlayer so now I can post pictures again.



Funny thing, though, they all seem to have become avatar size.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by lar-lar on Mon 10 Oct 2016, 19:41

Belated birthday love sent your way Feather. 

Sorry, had so much going on it's hard to focus on anything else sometimes.

But you are very dear to me  happyheart happyheart happyheart happyheart happyheart happyheart
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Mon 10 Oct 2016, 21:23

Don't worry, Lar. I understand. I hope things are not too bad for you. Life can be a right b*****d.
Another of my friends passed away yesterday from cancer so I'm feeling a little vulnerable again.xxx.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Whiskers on Tue 11 Oct 2016, 11:07

Thinking of you Feather and feeling your sadness. Its time now for some good things to start happening!
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Tue 11 Oct 2016, 12:02

Thank you, Whiskers. I'm in bad need of company right now but at least 2 people to whom I would naturally turn have shown me they just don't understand my mental condition and do more harm than good when I talk to them. They keep telling me to do the very things I find most difficult eg to get out more among people and socialise, look on the bright side, count my blessings etc etc.This complete lack of empathy vastly increases my sense of isolation and loneliness. It's almost as if they think the depression is my choice--as if I have some kind of control over it. I wish I did.

I see my doctor again on Thursday. The prolonged  stress has raised my blood pressure tohigh and this is giving me migraines every few days. That means I can't use my computer, watch TV or read. There is nothing left but to sit in a darkened room and wallow---not good at all. I'm not sure what the dr will do but I suspect he'll advise me toresume the antidepressants which I stopped because of the awful side effects eg loss of memory and nightmares.He may up the dose of BP tablets too which has its own dangers.
OMG--All this has just poured out of me.I didn't intend that to happen but I'm desperate for some understanding. Sorry. crybaby


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by lar-lar on Tue 11 Oct 2016, 13:02

I hear you feather.

Sometimes,it's hard for people to just do that. They don't realize that trying to solutionize is not the thing to do but it is human nature I think. I've done it myself. People have done it to me many times when ALL I needed was a hug.Sorry to hear about your friend and the pain you're going through.

xx
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Tue 11 Oct 2016, 14:19

@Feather wrote:this is giving me migraines every few days. That means I can't use my computer, watch TV or read. There is nothing left but to sit in a darkened room and wallow---not good at all.

Migraine can be a very frustrating and lonely affliction to bear (especially when they effect your vision - "migraine with aura"), 'lonely' because it's hard for non-experiencers to understand what the person is suffering and the effect it has when you are in the midst of its full force - 'what's the big deal, it's just a headache' ...  Well, no - not 'just' a headache; there are different types of migraine and different levels to those 'types'.  You seem to get those vision-restricting ones, Feather, as I do - so I know exactly what it's like when they hit.  Usually, for me, the zig-zag lines start and this will be before any headache or nausea etc (the nausea only occurs when it's really bad and has progressed to the full-blown headache).  Thankfully, I haven't had any for a while now, but I can go through periods of anything up to a week when just without warning the 'jigsaw puzzle eye' as I call it starts along with the zigzag coloured lines, which get bigger and spread out into a sort of void.  Within that void your vision is wiped out altogether and that's what gives the effect of the jigsaw thing - the words on a page will get broken up with the empty voids in between or you can look at a person's face and their nose will appear to be up on their forehead and maybe only see one of their eyes.  It's horrible when that happens - like you say, not being able to read, drive, watch TV, use the computer etc.  The only solution (apart from paracetamol - which has to be taken at the first sign of a migraine, otherwise it has no effect) is to be into a quiet, darkened spot and not move your head, just transfix on one non-moving object in front of you.  I find it's actually worse if you close your eyes because the swirling colours and zigzag lines are still there and you can't help but focus on it which makes it even worse!

I have found a solution to that though - and maybe this is one that you can try, Feather.  I have found that listening to music (preferably the relaxing type!) while this is happening is a great distraction. It really does help to ease the effect - and more importantly to distract from the inevitable 'wallowing'. crybaby

And of course you need to avoid the triggers which can bring on the migraine in the first place.  Everyone's may be different, but I have found that coffee, cheese and smoking are the main triggers which can affect me.  They are not the sole cause, but in conjunction with stress, etc, they can definitely contribute to triggering the beginnings of an attack.  It's a bit of a vicious circle really, because when you are in the throes of the major trigger (stress!), - whatever about the cheese ... but the very things that you tend to reach for when stressed (coffee and ciggies!) are the very things that make the whole thing worse. hairpull

Try the music thing though, Feather - and let me know how you get on there.

(Oops ... you may not be able to read through all this right now, if you are suffering from migraines at the moment - but at least it will be there to read over when you're better able to).
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Tue 11 Oct 2016, 15:56

Thank you for all that info, kk. I know about the cheese and also chocolate and oranges. With me it seems to be stress and bright light although I have been eating a lot of cheese lately.I love it at suppertime with the famous bere bannock. Too little or too much sleep can do it too.Still-- I must say it's the TV and the computer which are the main culprits especially if I just been out in the sunlight beforehand---even with sunglasses on.xxx.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Tue 11 Oct 2016, 17:18

Oh yes ... how could I forget the chocolate!
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Fri 21 Oct 2016, 14:45



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Fri 21 Oct 2016, 15:43

No--I tend to be a traditional medicine girl, Stardust, ie what the doctor says.
Migraines are caused in different people by different triggers. Mine seem to be stress and bright light--especially coupled with concentration.We'll see what my BP is doing on Tuesday when I next go to see my doctor. I had migraine on Monday and Tuesday this week and spent most of Wednesday in bed to avoid stress and sunlight. Thursday and today have been ok but I have to have a loose tooth out tonight at 5.15pm. hairpull


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Fri 21 Oct 2016, 15:57

surprised  Ouch, I hope it won't hurt too much, Feather. happyheart


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by lar-lar on Sat 22 Oct 2016, 18:14

Thought you wrote contraception earlier...(was concentration).. sidestep

I've had one migraine since I stopped smoking ... seems there was a link.
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Fri 30 Dec 2016, 12:35



May 2017 be all that you wish it to be, my dear friends.xxxx.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Fri 30 Dec 2016, 17:04



Thank you, Feather, and a lovely New Year 2017 to you too.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 08:11

@Feather wrote:I feed the birds every day and put water out if there's snow. That includes seagulls,pigeons, rooks and smaller birds.I also feed a stray cat who has taken up residence in my garage where I have put a soft bed for her. She can use this whenever she wants but she won't come in the house or let me pet her---yet.

The birds need it in the Winter don't they and you get to enjoy watching them and hearing them sing too.

Have you given a name to your stray cat yet? I wonder how long it will take her to trust  enough to let you get nearer.

Kindness to animals is always a sign of a truly good heart. happyheart


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 14:06

Yes, Stardust, I do not trust people who are indifferent to the fate of our fellow creatures. The cat has never been named simply because I always expected her to run away at some point. She is a beautiful white/tortoiseshell girl. When I crouch down to her level, she passes by me slowly and about 3 inches from me.She lets her tail touch me but, if I reach out to touch her, she hisses and makes off. She is a tease. That's what I am going to call her--Tease!!


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:04

Very apt. Looks like she's got you tamed anyway, Feather.  giggle
How does Chica feel about her, and vice versa?


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Sun 15 Jan 2017, 21:43

When Chica sees her through the window,she barks furioiusly---one of the reasons why I can't take Tease in the house, even if she would come.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:11

My dog would bark at cats and they'd spit back (or vice-versa). But the truth of it was that it was all for show. When they actually came face to face they'd suddenly become quiet and curious, false aggression forgotten, and be all friendly with one another.
happyheart
Maybe Chica and Tease would get on, after all, lots of cats and dogs do, they're much more sensible than human beings if you ask me.
purr


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:02

The only thing is that Tease has never been handled except during her "neutering" operation!!


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:07

Oh!

Of course there is also that Chica might defend her territory against what she considers an intrusion. Did you still have any cats when you first got Chica, Feather?


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:32

Yes--my darling little boy, Tango. He was the only cat left alive here when Chica came. He was a very special puss with long ginger fur and a very affectionate nature. He would lie on his back in my arms, wrap his front paws round my wrist and lick my fingers with his eyes closed. He was almost 18 so I had to keep him away from Chica for she chased him if she got the chance and he was too old for that.I cried for him when he left.I knew then that I would never have another cat.I was already too old as they can live for 20 years. When I see pictures of cats or kittens now,I still want one.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Mon 16 Jan 2017, 20:51

We get so attached to our pets, don't we, and they to us. But some are more understanding and affectionate than certain human beings, so who cares if they walk on four feet instead of two and are supposed to be less intelligent... the quality of the unconditional love they give us is precious and though we cannot have a "proper" conversation they usually find ways to "talk" to us, and I must say often more interesting than some conversations I've had with people.
happyheart


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:17

As I had thought might be the case, Feather's absence from the forums of late is connected to the recent problems with Yahoo email. (My brother, who is in Saudi Arabia, was badly affected also, and were it not for the fact that we have a family forum similar to this (but private and closed to our family members only, who are spread throughout the world), he would not have been able to get in touch with any of us because of the latest Yahoo shenanigans. The forum was a life-saver in these circumstances (also with its own Shoutbox).

Seems the Yahoo issue also affected some Gmail accounts as well as their Yahoo accounts.
As far as I am aware, all the issues with Yahoo have now been fixed, so hopefully our Feather will be back posting here soon.
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Red alert

Post by Stardust on Thu 02 Feb 2017, 11:22

Red alert!
Feather is still missing.

Maybe she's gone on a world tour and forgot to tell us...


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on Sun 05 Feb 2017, 21:37

Back now. Been having trouble on Facebook. Spent a lot of time trying to sort it out. Was making me mad.My account suddenly disappeared.Tried all the Help pages which were useless. No explanation was given but I found out that other people had had the same experience. I've been thinking about it and am nearly sure I know why it was done: I was putting my views on religion on a site dedicated to that topic. The posters were nearly all of the American Bible Belt variety and I got some nasty replies.In fact, I made some of them pretty angry and abusive towards me.I think one--or more of them--has put in a complaint about me. Facebook has upheld the complaint and banned me. I wasn't allowed to challenge their beliefs, obviously. Some of them actually accepted the creation story literally. I lost all my posts, photos, friends there which had built up over years. There is no way back to that account so I opened another one but it has very little in it yet. I studied the Help pages and discovered hundreds of people whose complaints had not been answered either. Facebook Help is a joke.


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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on Mon 06 Feb 2017, 10:00

Wow, Feather, banned from Facebook! It would be laughable if it weren't for all your personal data and contacts having gone with the account. I hope you had them safeguarded elsewhere.

All that negativity aimed at you can't be doing your morale and your health much good. 

However, we all know our Feather just loves to rush in where angels fear to tread, and it's admirable that you stand up for your opinions whatever the enemy is throwing at you.
True Scottish blood there. happyheart


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