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Feather by the sea.

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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 6th April 2016, 14:22

I will try again but as of now I can't seem to post the avatar I want on here.

Anyway, I'min a right state for another reason.

KK knows my close friend , Jean. They met in London when we were down a few years ago. Jean and I were very close friends but she left Orkney last May to live in Fife.We have kept in touch since then and she assured me I would be invited to stay with her for a holiday. It's almost a year now but the invitation has not come. I've been waiting patiently cos I'm not pushy and would never go unless I was asked.
Jean has another pal who arrived in Orkney many years after Jean and I became friends. She arrived at Jean's unasked when Jean had no furniture in the house. OK, that was up to the two of them but Jean's birthday was on Monday of this week. I put a greeting on Facebook for her, sent her a nice card in the post and an E-card on line. Next I know-- Jean put an elaborate thank you  to this person on Facebook, thanking her for the lovely time they had spent together on her birthday.I should also explain that Jean is away from home a lot at dog shows and competitions so she said she would let me know when she was home-----which she has not yet done. This other woman just arrives and that is ok. I feel rejected and, being sensitive (or mentally unstable?) I got very upset and cried with hurt over it. I admit I was angry as well.In the heat of the moment, I sent Jean a message on Facebook telling her how I felt.We have always been able to do this. That's one of the reasons why the friendship was so special to me.
She replied saying she was appalled by my reaction and made no attempt whatsoever to smooth things over. In fact, she unfriended me so now I have no contact with her on Facebook. I have this morning made a final attempt to get things back on a smooth footing but have still had no reply. Sorry to bother you with this personal dilemma but I have nowhere else to turn. 

I've been in tears all morning--can't seem to snap out of it. I was really looking forward to going down to see Jean as I don't go many places any more but I'm not going to crawl. It has helped me to write it all down but it just shows that life can slap you in the face from the most unexpected direction no matter what your age is.
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 6th April 2016, 17:53

Oh, so sorry that you're going through such a rough time at the moment, Feather.  Yes, I do remember your friend Jean, lovely person.  Of course, it's not that uncommon for good friends to fall out - at least once in the lifetime of their friendships! ... usually over something trivial, a misunderstanding, or even just due to the mood of one or the other of them at the time.  Knowing what good, long-term friends you two are, Feather, I am sure this is something that will blow over and ye will be able to laugh about it together in due course.  It's important though that you put your pride aside and do make another 'attempt to get things back on a smooth footing', rather than accepting that last attempt as the "final" one.  Heat-of-the-moment arguments are just that - mood-of-the-moment circumstances, and good friendships are far too important to be cut off in such away because both are too stubborn to give in!  Seems like the ball is in your court in these circumstances and that it's down to you to make the next move - and that move should be sooner rather than later.

I sense that you are currently in the midst of a rather vulnerable period in your life and this is causing you to be ultra-sensitive about things in general.  It's not that long ago that you lost your very dear, close friend to cancer (forgive me, I have forgotten her name - is it Margaret?).  This has naturally had a devastating effect on you, added to that with Jean moving away - all of which has left you feeling more vulnerable and perhaps quite lonely and depressed too.
I do think you need to somehow get through to Jean as to just how bad you are feeling right now.  Perhaps you can do this through one of your poems that you are so adept at doing(?)  Write it all down in a poem and send it to Jean.  At the same time it would most likely be an effective therapeutic exercise for you anyway.
(If you don't feel quite ready to do that - how about you do one anyway (compose a poem, I mean giggle ), just about anything ... how you are feeling about everything and life in general ...  and send it to me!  I would love to read it - as I love all the poems you have created in the past. happyheart )
Whilst on the subject -
have you yet done anything about getting some of your stuff published?  At the risk of being accused of nagging surprised  - just take this as a gentle reminder.  I don't have to say any more ...
sidestep
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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 6th April 2016, 20:44

I tried today to explain to Jean how I felt and said sorry if I upset her.I admitted I could be impulsive when angry.I've just had her reply in which she said she was not hurt, only angry and that this was her last response to me. There is not going to be a reconciliation.It's the end of the road for us. I'm the only one who is hurting. I'm not in the mood to write a poem. The whole experience is too raw. It's like another death. My friend who died was called Marion.She and I never had cross words in over 60 years and this just makes me miss her more than ever. I can't stop crying and no-one can put it right.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 6th April 2016, 22:17

I just wish we didn't live so far away from each other, Feather.  I have sent you a text.  xXx
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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 9th April 2016, 12:41

Here is my poem--not very good as written in a good deal of stress---




                                       Bitter  Reality.
 
                       ‘Tis sweet to see the new grass sprout
                       From out the Springtime meadow,
                       Like friendship new, young, fresh and bold
                        Flourishing, daring, mellow.
                       With passing time, and ever stronger
                       Blades shoot upward, striving
                       For the nourishing warmth of  sunlight
                      And comradeship is thriving.
                      Year on year with confidence
                       With no doubt whatsoever
                       We know the flowers will return
                        Think true friends will not sever.
                        But here is where the kinship ends
                        Hearts can be torn asunder
                        Even tender plants can bend
                        Survive the rain and thunder
                        Not so the wounded human heart
                        When pierced by friendly fire
                         Shattered by an unkind word
                         Tossed on friendship’s pyre.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 9th April 2016, 22:31

@Feather wrote:Here is my poem--not very good as written in a good deal of stress---


                                       Bitter  Reality.

Dear friend, Feather happyheart
Some of the world's best works have been created under [and as a result of] circumstances of immense stress and emotional turmoil. That's what makes them brilliant - they are real, they tell it as it is and, more importantly, the reader/listener feels and experiences the very emotions that caused them to be.
I feel your pain, your hurt, your bewilderment, your loss - and my soul empathizes with yours through the reading of that beautiful poem.

I am hoping that this will be something that you and Jean will be able to reminisce [and smile] about in due course - a phase in time to be referred to as "in the past".

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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 9th April 2016, 22:53

Thanks for your kind words as always,kk. I very much hope so too re Jean. I feel bereft with no contact. The problem is ---even if I decided to make the first move---in what form could it be taken? I don't think she wants me to email her and, with no Facebook contact either, only one of two courses could I take, a letter or a phone call, both of which would be difficult. I don't think I could pick up the phone. Also, in all of this, she has not yet tried to put things  right by asking me down to see her.If she did, I would be so thankful and go like a shot.
It would help me in many ways--being friends again but also getting away for a break which I need. I have not been well enough to leave home all winter.

BTW---I have contacted Elly on Facebook. I came across her name and emailed her.She was glad to hear from me. She's been fostering for 6 years now. Bry is "as daft as ever" and they have 6 dogs!!



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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 12th April 2016, 10:08

I'm going on a coach tour to take my mind off things. It will not be too strenuous for me and I now feel able to do it. Leigh and Ray will see to Chica and it's only for 5 days. I will take the overnight ferry to Aberdeen---free to senior citizens born in Orkney. I will visit Jim and the tour starts from Aberdeen the next day. I was hoping for the York tour but it is no longer available so it's Scarborough or The Lake District. This would be sometime in May. I don't want to go too far seeing it's my first time but I hope to take more tours. I need to meet people and be taken care of at the same time. It should be perfect for me.



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Kitkat
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 12th April 2016, 12:10

@Feather wrote:I'm going on a coach tour to take my mind off things. It will not be too strenuous for me and I now feel able to do it. Leigh and Ray will see to Chica and it's only for 5 days. I will take the overnight ferry to Aberdeen---free to senior citizens born in Orkney. I will visit Jim and the tour starts from Aberdeen the next day. I was hoping for the York tour but it is no longer available so it's Scarborough or The Lake District. This would be sometime in May. I don't want to go too far seeing it's my first time but I hope to take more tours. I need to meet people and be taken care of at the same time. It should be perfect for me.

Sounds absolutely wonderful, Feather flower  ... just what you need!
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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 12th April 2016, 12:18

If ever you feel like joining me in the future, I would be delighted. There are tours to Ireland as well--and abroad of course.xxx.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 13th April 2016, 12:38

@Feather wrote:BTW---I have contacted Elly on Facebook. I came across her name and emailed her.She was glad to hear from me. She's been fostering for 6 years now. Bry is "as daft as ever" and they have 6 dogs!!

Just read this now, Feather! Do please pass on a big HELLO from me to both Elly and Bry. alien
Great to hear that they continued on with the fostering. happyheart I wonder if they are still in touch with any of the other 'oldies'? Is everyone playing away on Facebook these days?
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 13th April 2016, 13:00

I'll be sure to pass on your hellos to Elly and Bry. Elly was on Facebook before me. After this upset with Jean, I had a strong desire to catch up with true friends from earlier in my life. My bus tour with Inga is all finalised.She's coming with me to Scarborough. She's also an old pal from school days and uni.
We were in the same digs for four years, sharing a room for most of that time.
We go on the night ferry to Aberdeen on Fri, 13th May. How's that for confidence? I hope she's not superstitious.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 19th April 2016, 16:22

@Feather wrote:I'll be sure to pass on your hellos to Elly and Bry. Elly was on Facebook before me. After this upset with Jean, I had a strong desire to catch up with true friends from earlier in my life. My bus tour with Inga is all finalised.She's coming with me to Scarborough. She's also an old pal from school days and uni.
We were in the same digs for four years, sharing a room for most of that time.
We go on the night ferry to Aberdeen on Fri, 13th May. How's that for confidence? I hope she's not superstitious.

Not long to go now, Feather.  Very Happy   Watch out Scarborough! ...  Feather's coming .....

Regarding FaceBook - here is just one of the reasons why I have no interest in it:

This ... from 'our Gordy' - Medium Gordon Smith (13th April 2016):-

"Someone has set up a Facebook page as me - they are charging money for readings and things - please know that I would never do that so if anything spears on FB asking for cash in my name - it's not me - whoever did this has no idea of the energies they are messing with."

If you (or Elly or Bry or any of your friends) happen to come across this FaceBook fraud, be aware!

PS:  alien   I'll be seeing the real one later on this evening  What a Face    (at my Spooks Night - see: http://lightafterlife.freeforums.org/seances-spirits-spooks-f100.html ).
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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 19th April 2016, 17:12

I've often wondered what happened to Gordon Smith. I'd still love a reading from him as thousands others would, no doubt.
You're very lucky to be seeing him. Not much chance for me living up here.I haven't come across the fraud site on Facebook but thanks for the warning.
Our tour to Scarborough had to be cancelled as not enough passengers booked to make it viable but today I've managed to book another tour with another company.Same dates and also leaving from Aberdeen. We stop at Gretna and tour The Lake District with a sail on Lake Windermere
and a mini train tour somewhere I can't remember right now. We're both very relieved and happy. Two double rooms, evening meal and breakfast.Can't wait.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 19th April 2016, 17:32

@Feather wrote:I've often wondered what happened to Gordon Smith. I'd still love a reading from him as thousands others would, no doubt.
You're very lucky to be seeing him. Not much chance for me living up here.

Well, you've probably got a better chance than any, Feather.  He actually lives permanently in Scotland now (though I'm not sure what part - somewhere on the west coast) and of course he's not at home as often as he would like to be as he travels all over the world with his work.   This is his genuine FaceBook site:  https://www.facebook.com/gordonsmithmedium  Lots of pics of his beloved 'girls' - his two gorgeous doggies ...   happyheart  
He is in London at the moment especially for our 'Spook Nights' which are held at the London Spiritual Mission (Mondays and Tuesdays - I'm in the Tuesday group).  
Obviously, we don't always have the pleasure of his presence there on the times when his work calls him away - but he is here till at least tomorrow this time round as the LSM's Annual General Meeting will be held there tomorrow and as he is now the LSM's president he will also be addressing the meeting there tomorrow.  Very Happy

ETA:  Oops! I called his two doggies his "beloved girls".  One of them (Cookie) is actually a HE.  Embarassed
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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 23rd April 2016, 20:35

Anything interesting to report after your meeting with Gordon?



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 23rd April 2016, 23:53

@Feather wrote:Anything interesting to report after your meeting with Gordon?

You can find an up-to-date record of all our weekly sittings on the Light After Life forum, Feather.

It's here in this thread:  http://lightafterlife.freeforums.org/spook-night-t992.html

It's in the Members Only section of the forum, so you have to be logged in to read it.


Main link to LAL:  http://lightafterlife.freeforums.org/index.php
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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 24th April 2016, 17:21

I think  I've read all the arguments re pro and anti the Afterlife and, until I get a reading from a medium that removes all my doubts, I cannot change my present position---unfortunately.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Stardust on 8th May 2016, 17:02

Only a few days before you leave on your tour, Feather, and I hope you have a fantastic time. Bundle up all your worries in a virtual package held in both hands and throw them to the four winds when you sail on Lake Windermere (sounds lovely).

Don't burden your heart with hurt caused by others, though it makes you sad, because who knows what hidden reason there might be. I can't help but think you're not being given the whole picture by your friend Jean, because a lifelong friend doesn't change so drastically just because they move away.

Sending you lots of hugs and love. happyheart



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by lar-lar on 11th May 2016, 21:20

Hope you're feeling refreshed and more relaxed after your trip.  happyheart  It's one main reason why I like to get away..
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Feather
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 11th May 2016, 21:44

I haven't been on my trip yet, Lar. I leave on the late night ferry this Friday night--- home again on Saturday night 21st May.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by lar-lar on 11th May 2016, 22:57

Looking forward to hearing all about it. x
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 22nd May 2016, 00:20

Home again but too tired to fill you in on the details. Arrived about 11.45pm, had a coffee and ciggie so off to bed now.xxx.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Kitkat on 22nd May 2016, 11:50

@Feather wrote:Home again but too tired to fill you in on the details. Arrived about 11.45pm, had a coffee and ciggie so off to bed now.xxx.


Hi Feather,

Can't wait to hear all about it!
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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Feather on 22nd May 2016, 17:49

I've been asleep for the past hour or so---out for the count after unpacking. Bedroom is still in a shambles.
The coach driver was superb at her job,not only an excellent driver but so funny with it.She is German,called Dagmar, and lives with her Scottish husband in Buckie--a small town north of Aberdeen. She had us in stitches. I'd love to travel with her again. Five of us joined the coach in Aberdeen, eleven in Dundee and the rest in Perth. There were only 2 seats vacant. They were a great crowd.

Inga and I had the weekend in Aberdeen before joining the coach on Monday morning.I spent Sunday with Marion's brother, Adrian and his wife, Aileen. I was given one of Marion's Ortak brooches as a keepsake. I'll treasure it.

We had plenty of stops along the route, for lunch, shopping etc. The shops were excellent and a surprise to me. I hadn't realised we would be able to indulge in my favourite pastime on a coach tour. They were all located in quaint little villages so the merchandise was very different from what you find on city high streets.

We took a short train journey to Lake Windermere where we enjoyed a smooth sail to the opposite shore where we found the coach waiting for us. Huge mansions and expensive yachts lined the shores of the lake--a fantastic sight.

In the course of the week we visited Hadrian's Wall and had coffee at the Tourist Centre there. Kessick was our next port of call.It is a very beautiful place with mountains you wouldn't believe. The sun shone down on us every day except for very short spells when we were in the coach. Cumbria and Northumberland were amazing.

We were back in Aberdeen by 3.30pm on Friday. It was sad to say goodbye to our fellow travellers as it's very unlikely we'll ever meet again. We'd become friends along the way.

The Gretna Hotel was just perfect and the staff very friendly and helpful. A full breakfast and a three course dinner were provided every day.I was staggered by the amount of food these people could eat in one day. Bless them all!

Inga and I spent Saturday in Aberdeen again. We discovered a Cats Cafe where beautiful cats of all colours lived in luxury. It was fully booked up for the day but I intend to make an appointment and return there some time.I was longing to stroke them while having a cup of coffee. I never knew such places existed. We caught the ferry home at 5pm. We were in Orkney by 11pm, exhausted but happy.



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Re: Feather by the sea.

Post by Whiskers on 23rd May 2016, 08:25

Nice to see you back Feather. Sounds like you all really enjoyed your trip purr

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